I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Even the bartender felt bad for me
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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