I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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