before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize