are you still at the devil's house?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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