You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
