uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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