Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
