I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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