i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
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