I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
