Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
