Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
