this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Never underestimate the power of titties
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
