We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
