Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
