You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize