I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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