im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
