I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
