Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
