Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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