idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
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