bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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