Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
