he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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