go do what you do best...puke behind churches
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
