I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
