OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
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