Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
