she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
