I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
