Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
