She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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