Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
