worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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