he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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