I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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