Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
