Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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