Tell her she can't have a vagina
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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