guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
