Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Randomize
