Actions speak louder than pants.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
