You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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