had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
