dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Do you still have your period?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
