Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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