The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize