It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
