What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
