yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
