So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Of course I have a pirate flag
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
