The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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