ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
