so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
