the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
