Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
