I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
