Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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