Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
