I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
