OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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