yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I cut my penus on the lid.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
