Porn is love you can see.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
