I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize