Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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